Golf Bloopers

It was a very slow day at work today so I spent the morning trolling through youtube clips that people had recommended I watch. One of the funniest videos I was sent was titled golf bloopers and is well worth watching if you like watching crazy things on the golf course.



I must admit to practicing my golf swing inside (without damaging anything fortunately), but I haven't personally seen anything like these on my local course. I would love to hear from anyone who has witnessed something a little strange on their course. Please leave a comment

Golf Jokes - The True Rules of Golf (Part 2)

The True Rules of Golf Part 2

• The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
  straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
• There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the
  way you meant to play it.
• You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch
  90% of the time.
• Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
• If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
• To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph.
• There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top
  and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
• Hazards attract. Fairways repel.
• You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
• A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
• If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is the one in
  the bunker
• If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
• Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Golf Jokes - The True Rules of Golf (Part 1)

The True Rules of Golf - Part 1

• The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
• If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
• Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
• When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
• Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
• No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse
• Never keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
• When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
  more club or two more balls.
• Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
• If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead
  of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank
  a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
• The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
• The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
• If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
• It's not a gimme if you're still away.
• Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
• A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
• It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
• Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

More Golf Quotes

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. ~Author Unknown

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water. ~Lee Trevino, describing how he was one under during a tournament

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five. ~Paul Harvey

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. ~Jack Nicklaus, on why he tees his ball high.

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. ~Nubar Gulbenkian, 1972

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. -Bruce Lansky

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting. - Peter Dobereiner

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine. -Bruce Lansky

Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well. -Craig Stadler

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle. - Jackie Gleason

Funny Golf Video

This is one of the funniest things I have seen (well today anyway). Just imagine you are in the deep rough yet still want to hit your driver - well then this is the product for you. Imagine the look on your playing partners faces! Hmmm... I wonder if it is on the non conforming driver list.

This is a must watch video (only 19 second long)

Happy New Year (Golf Cartoon)

I want to wish all of my readers a happy and safe new year with lots of birdies!

Enjoy this little golf cartoon:

Golf Cartoon

I think it's time to lighten things up a little bit. However, you would be surprised how hard it is to find a funny golf cartoon. I cam across this one today while visiting all my favorite golfing haunts on the web and thought it was quite funny:



If you find a better one than this - please send me a comment with the link