More Golf Quotes

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. ~Author Unknown

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water. ~Lee Trevino, describing how he was one under during a tournament

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five. ~Paul Harvey

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. ~Jack Nicklaus, on why he tees his ball high.

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. ~Nubar Gulbenkian, 1972

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. -Bruce Lansky

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting. - Peter Dobereiner

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine. -Bruce Lansky

Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well. -Craig Stadler

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle. - Jackie Gleason

Golf Quotes

Some great quotes here - more to come later!

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it. ~Ted Ray, Golf - My Slice of Life, 1972

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. ~Author Unknown

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ~Sam Snead

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. ~Phyllis Diller

They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it. ~Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players

If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. ~Lee Trevino

I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them. ~Harry Toscano

I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators. ~Gerald Ford