Golf Jokes - The True Rules of Golf (Part 1)

The True Rules of Golf - Part 1

• The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
• If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
• Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
• When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
• Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
• No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse
• Never keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
• When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
  more club or two more balls.
• Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
• If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead
  of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank
  a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
• The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
• The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
• If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
• It's not a gimme if you're still away.
• Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
• A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
• It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
• Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Golf Rules 101 - Rule 5-3 Ball unfit for play.

I am hoping to post a new golf rule from time to time to help us all learn a little bit more about the game we play, and possibly even save us from a few penalty strokes on our next round! Golf is certainly a game of rules and even a small mistake can cost you if you don't know where you stand!

5-3. Ball Unfit for Play
A golf ball is unfit for play if it is visibly cut, cracked or out of shape. A ball is not unfit for play solely because mud or other materials adhere to it, its surface is scratched or scraped or its paint is damaged or discoloured. If a player has reason to believe his ball has become unfit for play during play of the hole being played, he may lift the ball without penalty to determine whether it is unfit.Before lifting the ball, the player must announce his intention to his opponent in match play or his competitor. He may then lift and examine it provided that he gives his opponent, marker or fellow-competitor an opportunity to examine the ball and observe the lifting and replacement. The ball must not be cleaned when lifted under Rule 5-3. If the player fails to comply with all or any part of this procedure, he incurs a penalty of one stroke.
If it is determined that the ball has become unfit for play during play of the hole being played, the player may another ball, placing it on the spot where the original ball lay. Otherwise, the original ball must be replaced. If a player substitutes a ball when not permitted and he makes a stoke at
the substituted ball, he incurs the general penalty for a breach of Rule 5-3. There is no additional penalty under this Rule or Rule 15-1. If a ball breaks into pieces as a result of a stoke, the stroke is cancelled and the player must play a ball without penalty as nearly as possible at the spot
from which the original ball was played (see Rule 20-5).

*PENALTY FOR BREACH OF RULE 5-3:
Match play - Loss of hole
Stroke play - Two strokes.