Golf Jokes - The True Rules of Golf (Part 1)

The True Rules of Golf - Part 1

• The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
• If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
• Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
• When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
• Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
• No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse
• Never keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
• When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
  more club or two more balls.
• Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
• If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead
  of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank
  a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
• The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
• The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
• If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
• It's not a gimme if you're still away.
• Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
• A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
• It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
• Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.